Carinne froze in her position, unable to say or do anything as if time and space had stopped. Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart started racing madly.

‘Does he know that I like him? And on top of that, he likes me?’

Was this a dream or reality?

Iris’ words about Archen liking her were spot on. She was the best. Let’s cancel the phrase clueless on her.

‘So, today is Day 1 then!’

Carinne’s mood soared at the thought of going on a real date with him. Where should they go? A picnic by the lake? Or a drive around the city in a carriage? Or maybe visit every restaurant and conquer shrimp dishes?

Various sweet imaginings filled her mind like helium balloons filling the ceiling. But it only lasted for a brief moment.

His voice was heard again.

“If you asked me to choose between shrimp cocktail and you, I would have a hard time.”

It wasn’t his usual dignified voice. It had a hint of laughter and a playful tone.

…Huh?

Overwhelmed with joy, Carinne was about to embrace him, though she quickly retracted her arms and placed her hand on her thigh as if it had been her plan all along.

‘Was it just a joke, not sincere…?’

Her mind went blank.

If he could joke about liking her, what did Archen think of her?

He wasn’t in love with her, that was for sure… a casual friend? A close female friend? Her thoughts clashed, each believing they were right. As she was swept away by waves of thoughts, about to drift away, Carinne realized he was standing still and suddenly snapped back to her senses.

He was waiting for her response.

Carinne opened her trembling lips and managed to say a few words.

“It’s an honor. To be compared to a shrimp cocktail…”

No, it couldn’t be a joke. Who joked about liking someone? Even if they were close friends without any pretenses, it wasn’t something they could casually say. Saying ‘I like you’ wasn’t something that could be easily uttered.

Yes, let’s try again.

“If I were to introduce you to various shrimp dishes, would you still go to eat it without any concerns?”

If he genuinely liked her, he would drop the playful act and honestly speak his mind. Carinne anxiously awaited his response.

“I might.”

However, his voice was almost the same as before. The laughter that erupted was even lighthearted. Ah, it was indeed just a joke.

Disappointment flooded over her like a wave, hitting her whole body.

“Even if they were to give me a hundred shrimp, I would still say Archen is better…”

“What did you say?”

“It’s nothing.”

Carinne tried to hide her disappointment and acted as if nothing was wrong.

It was fortunate that the corridor was dark. If he had seen her disappointed face, the situation would have become quite complicated. He started walking again, and she hurriedly followed, her steps faltering.

‘…Am I just a joke to him?’

She confessed her feelings to him, yet he brushed it off as if it were natural. Iris’ speculation was wrong. Archen didn’t like her. He only saw her as a close friend. A very close friend, to the point of joking about liking each other.

It was bitterly disappointing.

How long would she have to wait to win his heart? Was it even possible to win his heart in the first place?

‘What I wanted was a fresh, youthful romance, not an endless wait.’

“We’re here.”

Her thoughts were cut off at that moment. Archen entered the room and lit a lamp, illuminating the small room.

Carinne took in the sight of the room where he stood, and she was taken aback.

“You live here?”

“Yes. Is there a problem?”

While the lamp’s light was dim, it was enough to illuminate the small room. The room was small, about a quarter the size of her room. There were only the essential pieces of furniture: a bed, a wardrobe, a desk, and a drawer.

That was all there was.

There wasn’t even the usual window on the wall, making it suffocatingly stuffy. To sum it up, it was slightly better than the dormitory where she briefly lived as a student.

“You eat and sleep here?”

“I only sleep here, not eat.”

“Oh, I see…”

Seeing Archen act as if everything was normal, Carinne’s heart ached. He seemed perfectly adapted to this room.

Let’s see, Duke Lucas. This wicked employer will receive his punishment.

‘How dare he make Archen live in a place like this? Is it that difficult for him to give him a big room in this luxurious mansion?’

While she was trembling, Archen opened the closet and took out a set of clothes.

“I’ve already washed them.”

A fragrant soap scent emanated from the shirt and pants. Carinne buried her nose in the clothes and smelled the scent, then quickly looked up when she noticed Archen staring at her.

“I like the soap smell.”

Feeling embarrassed, she pretended to glance around the room and discovered a strange object on the desk. It looked like an experimental tool that eccentric scientists would have.

“What’s this?”

“That… It’s no longer useful.”

Hmm, it must be an item that has finished its use.

Carinne casually forgot about it.

On the desk, documents and other items were neatly organized, and it was difficult to find even a speck of disorder.

“You’ve organized it very well… Oh?”

While complimenting his sense of organization, she discovered a small box placed in the corner of the desk. It was the box she had given him as a tie pin.

“You still kept it and didn’t throw it away?”

She opened the box and examined its contents. The crimson velvet cushion and the pin were still inside.

“I guess you liked the box. Seeing it placed on the desk.”

Carinne closed the lid and placed the box back in its original position. Now that she saw it, the box was placed in a position where it could be seen best when sitting at the desk.

‘Seeing this, it seems like he likes me.’

Still, what he said earlier was undoubtedly a joke. Who would joke about liking someone they have a crush on? And with a smile as if it were nothing.

Once again, her heart ached.

“I thought I might need it, so I kept it.”

Well, Carinne thought it was a reasonable reason.

“Can you tell me where the Duke’s office is?”

In a different situation, she would have tried to prolong the time together, but now she didn’t feel like doing so. The fact that she was just a ‘close friend’ to Archen came as a considerable shock to her, and she hadn’t yet recovered from the aftermath of that shock.

To be more honest, although it might sound quite pathetic, she wanted to be alone.

“If you tell me where it is, I’ll go by myself.”

“I’ll accompany you.”

He held her back as she tried to leave.

“It’s okay, really. It’s late, so rest.”

“No, it’s dark outside.”

“Why do you care about the weather? I can go by myself. I’ve roughly memorized the way around here.”

It was true. Thanks to getting lost earlier, she had a rough mental map of the mansion.

“I’ll go alone. Just tell me where it is.”

“Oh… Okay.”

When Carinne replied firmly, he stepped back as if understanding, and he showed her the way to the Duke’s room. The Duke’s office was not far from here, so now that she had directions, it was enough.

“Thank you. I’ll go now.”

“I hope to see you again next time.”

“Goodnight.”

With those words, Carinne left the room and walked through the corridor.

As she breathed in the cool air of the corridor, her mind became clearer, and she finally realized the situation she was in. She had gone through all that trouble, and the result she obtained was just being a ‘close friend.’

Still, she had made it so obvious that she liked him!

What did Archen think about her touching his shoulder or hugging him all this time? If they were just close friends, that level of physical contact should be fine, was that his thoughts? If they were close friends, anything less than a kiss was fine?

‘Then, can I hug him every time we meet?’

If that was his standard for a ‘close friend.’ From now on, she would replace greetings with hugs.

Carinne was eager to make use of the new information she had learned.

‘What else can I do with a close friend?’

And then she realized one more thing.

…It wasn’t so bad to be close friends with him.

If they were close friends, they could rely on each other in difficult times and have fun together. When she thought about it, the picnic she had thought of earlier, the carriage drive, and even conquering shrimp dishes were all things that could be done between friends.

‘Oh, I see… Then I should do everything I want under the pretext of being close friends.’

She didn’t know if he would come to like her or not.

However, if they were close friends, they could share a significant part of their lives together… It might be difficult to travel to the southern island. Nevertheless, since friends sometimes go on trips together, it would be possible to spend vacations together, even if it was not a honeymoon.

Thinking that way, it wasn’t bad between close friends.

It was okay.

She could be satisfied. She didn’t feel sad at all.

…But why was one part of her heart so cold? Maybe it’s because of the night air.

Regardless, even though she raised her collar and hunched over, the cold didn’t go away. It seemed like the coldness in her chest was due to another reason.

* * *

After Carinne left, Archen opened the closet again.

He noticed an empty space on one side of the closet. It was where a shirt and pants used to be placed. He vividly remembered everything when the princess gave him those clothes. The sensation of damp fabric touching his skin, the subtle trembling of the air, and the cheerful voice of the princess, all of it.

It was the same just now.

He would never forget what had just happened until he died.

“Who do you like…?”

He wanted to ask that question and wanted his name to come out of her mouth. Judging from the situation, it was clear that his name would come out. But it couldn’t happen.

“Who I like…? I like Archen!”

He couldn’t have restrained himself if he heard those words. He might have pulled her close and kissed her. But if he had done that, he would have faced the surprised face of the princess.

“It was just a joke, but were you serious?”

The princess would have looked at him with a mixture of astonishment and confusion, perhaps with a hint of sympathy. And she wouldn’t have smiled brightly at him anymore, she wouldn’t have greeted him as if nothing had happened, she wouldn’t have hugged him pretending to be casual, and she wouldn’t have asked silly questions or shown any interest in him.

Perhaps she would have openly expressed her boredom. The interest of the Princess would have come to an end.

It was foolish to accept the delusions of a foolish person as reality.

So, his choice was right.

It was wise to divert the conversation by saying something he didn’t mean so that he could see the princess’ laughter.

As he was about to close the closet door, Archen lost strength in his legs and leaned against the wall, barely managing to stabilize his legs. He lowered his head as if trying to forget everything and closed his eyes.

He would never know in his lifetime.

The awe-inspiring feeling when he held her in his arms, the melting softness of her lips when they kissed, the overwhelming joy when she whispered ‘I love you’ in his ear.

He would never experience those things.

He would walk alongside her, laughing together, but deep inside, he would tremble with fear of when he would be abandoned.

Even if she were to seduce him, like a moth flying towards the light, he wouldn’t be able to leave her side and would continue to revolve around her. It was like an endless cycle. He fully admitted that he had fallen into it and couldn’t escape.

There was no regret… It was the path he knew and chose.

There would be no regret in the future. No matter what words she said or actions she took, no matter how she treated him, he belonged to her. That was a truth he could swear on his remaining short life, a truth that would never change.

—