“Miss, you seem to be in a good mood.”

Aiden took a small bite of the cake in front of me and asked cautiously. I nodded my head as I delicately took a bite of my cake, just as Aiden had.

“Yes, I’ve decided to go on a trip.”

“A trip? Are you going with your family?”

“Yes, and you’re coming too, right?”

“Me?”

Aiden asked in surprise, as a sudden travel schedule appeared.

Well, he must come. Wherever the thread goes, the needle follows. He’s my only bodyguard, of course, he has to follow.

“You’re coming, too. With Jane and Sir Lucas….., oh, I’ll bring Priest Ian, too. The doctor might feel a bit lonely. Anyway, what do you think? It’ll be great, right?”

Aiden blinked, then nodded.

His round, bright eyes looked nice, and I smiled along with him.

Ah, yes… this is the peaceful time I wanted.

The travel date was set for ten days later.

Although the preparation period was a bit tight, it wasn’t really that urgent for me. Having ten days to prepare when you only have three weeks left to live is quite a generous amount of time.

Jane, Aiden, and I spent the whole day in the room talking about the upcoming trip.

“You seem quite lively today, Miss.”

It was late in the evening, Jane had drawn the curtains, and I was getting ready for bed. She glanced at me and spoke. Aiden had finished work and greeted me earlier this evening.

The two of them had been guarding the room all day until today, following Father’s orders. It was a good thing. If we stick together every day, I might inadvertently reveal symptoms when they appear.

“Is that so?”

“Yes, you look good.”

“Really? Well, I’m glad then.”

Drowsiness washed over me, making my eyelids heavy. Blinking against the weight of my eyelids, I responded to Jane. She looked at me with a teasing smile.

Why are you smiling? Is it that amusing to see someone dozing off while sitting?

“I should go to bed early today. I’m so sleepy.”

“Yes, you seem that way. Well then, good night, and see you tomorrow, Miss.”

“Yes, sleep well, Jane.”

I crawled into bed while quietly murmuring before Jane could leave the room. I could sense Jane leaving the room silently. It was another time alone.

Still, today went by so peacefully. I thought it would be nice if the remaining days passed as calmly as today. With that thought in mind, I closed my eyes.

* * *

The next morning. I woke up, holding my throbbing head. The headache wasn’t severe, but along with it, my stomach rumbled, and the back of my neck hurt.

Maybe it’s gastritis. I shouldn’t lie down right after eating…

I thought about it vaguely for a moment, and suddenly, a thought came to me. I pulled back the blanket.

Arriving quickly in front of the mirror, I unbuttoned a few buttons of my pajamas and checked my chest.

“….Oh no.”

Next to the leaf, a vivid petal had taken its place. It was truly an unwelcome petal.

Symptoms appeared as soon as the petal bloomed… How brutally efficient this curse was.

Putting my pajamas on again, I headed toward the bed. It was only a few steps when it happened. My legs wouldn’t support me. I ended up hesitatingly sitting right where I was.

It wasn’t because my body hurt. It was because my mind was desolate.

Seeing the petal in reality was so much more despairing, far worse than I had imagined.

It was perfectly fine until yesterday. It was calm until yesterday. But what is this now? The petal is already blooming.

I remained on my knees, crouching, burying my face in that spot.

It felt like being stranded alone on a deserted island in the vast, endless sea.

* * *

My despair was brief. No, it had to be brief. How could I spend my remaining life in despair? Thinking so, I soon returned to my usual routine.

Family meals happened once every two days. So, today, I had lunch alone in my room. After that, I called Aiden and Jane to have dessert together. There was also a short time planned for a walk.

As there was some spare time until the walk, I sat back at my desk. Then I opened a drawer and took out a piece of paper.

It was a paper where I wrote a short wish yesterday.

Tap, tap, tap. I tapped the desk with the fingers of the hand holding the pen.

My mind was complicated. The throbbing headache bothered me more than I expected.

‘2.’

After writing down just a single number, I started listing things that came to mind.

2. Have a funeral photo*(or picture).

Without realizing, I initially wrote ‘photo’, but then corrected it to a drawing, considering that there were no cameras in this world. I didn’t know if a portrait was necessary here, but… I just wanted to have it. Perhaps, it’s something I couldn’t have in my past life.

Maybe, a proper funeral wasn’t conducted. My poor corpse might have been stuck in a waste disposal site, spending a long time alone.

So, this time, I must have a proper funeral.

3. Say my farewells to my family in person.

This was scheduled for about two weeks later. Two weeks later, when my lifespan had only about a week remaining.

I will personally say my farewells.

Thank you, I’m sorry… I love you.

As I thought of that, I dropped the pen from my hand. I couldn’t move my hand any longer because of the depressing mood. After hiding the paper back in the drawer, I leaned against the backrest and sighed.

I closed my eyes tightly and turned my head toward the window.

The cold winter wind blowing in the blue winter sky came into view. Ah, I want to see the sky in spring. The sky in summer is good too. I want to experience a peaceful autumn.

Of course, none of that was possible. Things that were impossible were piling up.

At the end of that brief negative thought, I got up. I promised myself not to think such thoughts and yet, I unconsciously had such negative thoughts.

I deliberately stood up and stretched. In the midst of meaningless actions, I hoped that all these strange thoughts would disappear.

* * *

“The flowers have all withered.”

“Now it’s truly winter.”

Aiden added a comment while we were walking, looking at the scenery of the garden.

Yes, it’s winter. All the flowers that were blooming vividly in the garden had fallen, leaving only a few stiff branches or stiff green leaves.

Beneath our feet, even the grass seemed lifeless.

Reaching out, I crushed a dry branch. The twig, as thin as a dry bone, rolled in my hand a few times before I dropped it to the ground.

“When will spring come?”

“Now that we’re just entering winter, it will take at least four months.”

It was a very realistic answer. Yes, four months.

“….I see.”

Aiden silently looked at me.

I also faced him and smiled. Aiden’s ears turned red in an instant. It must be cold outside.

“We’re making clothes, so let’s match our outfits.”

Aiden stopped in his tracks and looked at me. Anticipating a repetition of the previous question, I spoke first.

“It’s a bribe.”

“What?”

“It means that when I need help again, you should run to me.”

Of course, there won’t be such occasions anymore.

“Even if you don’t give me things like that, I’ll run to you.”

His resolute tone was reassuring. The bitter feeling began to fade a bit. In the midst of winter, filled with stiff branches, Aiden’s eyes were still as vibrant as emeralds.

You are like spring.

“I know. But, I just wanted to see it. You looked so good….in the outfit I gave you.”

It looked so good so it made me feel good, too. So, before I left, I wanted to give him a gift. Because I wanted to. I kept the true, selfish reason for the gift and smiled quietly.

Aiden’s head moved slowly up and down.

That night, I wrote a letter to Vivian.

It contained an invitation to get fitted for a dress at the Madame’s and an additional note inviting her to the New Year’s party at the Duke’s residence.

Vivian… She was a child caught in a strange relationship.

At first, I thought of her as just a child with the eyes of a shrewd merchant, but gradually, I developed some affection for her. Apart from the members of the Duke’s residence, she was probably the person I met most frequently.

Moreover, she often sent me letters asking about my well-being during the chaotic times when the Dukedom was entangled with the beasts. Whether those words were genuine or not, it provided a slight comfort.

Therefore, I also wanted to bid her farewell. I didn’t intend to convey that I was sick but just a brief greeting. Inviting her to the Duchy’s New Year’s party was the last gift I could offer her.

Oh, but what if the Duchy’s New Year’s party overlaps with my funeral? Somehow, I just wish to attend the New Year’s party and then peacefully die. Am I being too greedy?

Since I sent a special delivery letter, Vivian’s reply came back in just a day.

And the day after her reply was the date we had set for our meeting. I scheduled it as soon as possible because of my limited time.

“Lady Selena!”

“Welcome, Lady Vivian.”

Vivian entered the room with lively steps, approaching me with energetic strides. Her vibrant steps felt a bit exaggerated, and I was about to burst into laughter. It didn’t quite fit her usual demeanor. Behind Vivian, Madame followed suit.

“It’s been a while, Madame.”

“I’m honored that you still call me, Lady.”

Aiden was standing behind me and also gave a nod of greeting to both of them. Vivian had been sending sparkling glances in my direction and finally seemed to notice Aiden’s presence.

Really, whether her perceptiveness should be praised or criticized is a question in itself.

“Oh my, it’s been a while, Sir Aiden.”

The last time Mia and Aiden saw each other directly would likely be after the Duchy’s tea party. Since there was no occasion for them to exchange greetings at the party in the imperial palace.

In that sense, even though they last met when Aiden was a servant, now, as a wizard, looking at him without any hesitation in addressing him as ‘sir’… Well, Mia’s behavior wasn’t completely oblivious.

Well, in any case, it didn’t matter. Oh, it might be awkward if she were to notice my symptoms before others, but since there were still no visible changes… There was probably nothing to worry about.

“Well then, let’s all take a seat.”

As I said that, I gestured towards the tea table where a simple spread was prepared.

The four of us sat around the tea table, exchanged brief greetings, and then began our conversation in earnest.

“So, Sir Aiden is also getting clothes fitted, too?”

“Yes. Well, you know. Killing two birds with one stone.”

I nonchalantly nodded and glanced over the booklet that Madame had opened. First things first, it was my turn. Since it was winter now, the dresses in the booklet were all winter-themed.

“These days, flashy designs are quite popular.”

As I casually flipped through the pages, Madame spoke a bit urgently. Perhaps she felt that I wasn’t interested in every design.

That wasn’t true. It was just that my actions seemed a bit rushed due to impatience. To ease Madame’s concerns, I deliberately slowed down the pace of turning the pages. Turning them one by one, I quietly began to speak.

“I’ll also prepare dresses for you, Lady Vivian.”

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*The raw is 영정사진 which is a picture of the deceased (when alive) that is shown during their funeral. I couldn’t find a specific English word for it. In K-dramas or shows, you would see terminally ill or old-aged people prepare their own picture by going to a studio. So yes, what Selena is doing right now is that.

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