Chapter 140
Chapter 140
I didn’t even know how I got into the carriage. I was dazed. I was lost in thought inside the carriage, speechless from the sudden events.
Dimitri asked bluntly.
“Do you want to help him?”
“Yes.”
“He deserves to die.”
“You saw it, too, that it was Count Heres’s trap. He was a scapegoat.”
At my words, he narrowed his eyes and looked at me before turning his head away.
“Even though it’s annoying that we got caught in Count Heres’s trap, I’m rather relieved that the hunting dog has been dealt with.”
“Do you hate Cadis that much?”
“I hate dogs.”
Then, after a moment of silence, he continued speaking.
“…Especially if it’s a dog that shares a secret name with Rowaine.”
I flinched.
“You knew…?”
Of course, I had just casually mentioned Cadis’s name in front of him. It was because, to me, the name Cadis was more familiar than the number assigned to him.
‘But I didn’t know he had heard Cadis call me by my original name.’
When I thought about it, it was something Dimitri could easily misunderstood. Not only did we call each other by secret names and I took special care of him, but Herman also said something strange earlier.
“Let me explain it to you properly, starting with what Count Heres said earlier…”
What Herman said was deliberately intended to drive a wedge between us. Although I realized I should explain to Dimitri so that there would be no misunderstandings, I was at a loss as to where to begin.
‘…I can’t tell him that Cadis is the male protagonist of this world, that he’ll eventually have a happy ending, and that those who stand against him will become villains and be eradicated.’
The truth was, I was just clinging to Cadis because I knew in advance what the golden lifeline was in order to survive. However, despite my worries, Dimitri shook his head firmly.
“I don’t care what the Count of Heres said.”
“Really?”
“No matter what he says, I believe in myself. From what I’ve experienced, seen and judged, there’s no room for misunderstanding about Rowaine. I know you well enough not to be swayed by his words.”
I was almost touched by his unexpected words, but what he said next quelled my feelings.
“Someone as handsome and impressive as me could barely manage to win you over, so what could someone like that useless hunting dog, who doesn’t have anything special about him, have possibly done with someone as high-standard as Rowaine?”
‘Wow…’
His belief was based on self-praise and self-confidence, along with a natural disparagement of Cadis. It was a very Dimitri-like thought.
“I just have one question.”
“….?”
“What on earth is he calling Rowaine? Why won’t you tell me?”
Dimitri pursed his lips and glared at me.
‘He’s jealous.’
Despite the seriousness of the situation, seeing his expression almost made me burst out laughing, so I bit my lip and tried hard to suppress it.
“Eunsoo.”
“Eun…soo?”
My real name slipped out of his mouth. I didn’t think it was a big deal to tell him my name.
‘…What is this strange feeling?’
It felt as if a layer of the invisible, transparent wall between Dimitri and me that I had never known existed had been removed. In the meanwhile, Dimitri shook his head at the name, unfamiliar in this world.
“That’s an unusual name.”
“Right?”
I replied evasively.
“I once briefly lived far away from here, and everyone there called me that way. Actually, I’m more familiar with the name Eunsoo than the name Rowaine.”
Dimitri mumbled something quietly.
“I haven’t heard anything like that…”
“Yes? What did you say?”
When I asked because I didn’t hear properly, Dimitri shook his head.
“Nothing. Is that a name Rowaine missed?”
The unexpected question left me speechless for a moment.
Did I miss the name Eunsoo? Since it was just my name, it felt natural and familiar, though I’d never thought about it that way before.
‘…Do I miss it?’
In that short moment, many thoughts rushed through my mind about the life I lived as Eunsoo. I shook my head without difficulty.
“I’m not sure what I miss… Cadis doesn’t particularly like the name Rowaine, so I just told him my other name.”
It was nice to know that there was someone in this world who recognized the real me, not Rowaine.
But that was it.
I had no regrets about the name Eunsoo or the life I lived as Eunsoo. Looking back, it was just hazy memories as if I had dreamed them.
A life lived without much enthusiasm.
Apart from my mother, there was no one I felt particularly attached to. Except for the neighborhood stray cats, I had no one by my side. I had no friends and no one who understood me. Although I lived with my grandmother, we never had long conversations, and our relationship was distant. I was like a floundering sailboat drifting alone in the vast ocean.
When I looked back, all I saw was a blur of gray memories.
‘Maybe I just don’t want to remember it.’
All I felt was anger and resentment toward my father, who was always violent.
The life I lived under the name Eunsoo was depressed and lonely.
‘If you think about it, things are more colorful now than back then.’
At first, I was busy running around with the thought that I didn’t want to be dragged away by the Emperor. But before I knew it, living life as Rowaine, I’d gained a passion I’d never had before in my life.
The number of people I loved has grown tremendously, and the time spent laughing and playing has increased significantly. I used to live each day like a hedgehog with its spines raised, keeping everyone away, maintaining a single stern expression. But now, when I wake up, I handle many tasks busily and happily running toward various goals.
As my range of activities expanded, I had more worries, and my mind became more complex. However, unlike before, I felt alive. Now, I have many people who understand and love me.
I realized this clearly when Dimitri asked me if I missed the name Eunsoo.
“I prefer the name Rowaine.”
Dimitri smiled triumphantly at my words.
“Then, that’s enough.”
He looked like he didn’t care what Cadis called me anymore. He seemed to have been bothered by Cadis calling me by my name, but he eventually sighed with a slightly relieved expression. Then, almost immediately, he furrowed his brow as if throwing a tantrum.
“That hound b*stard… I’m annoyed because I think Lewayne will end up protecting him. And if Lewayne needs my help in that matter, I can’t imagine not helping him, which makes me even more annoyed.”
“Even though that hound is annoying, I’m even more annoyed because I know Rowaine will protect him in the end. And if Rowaine needs my help with that, I know I won’t be able to refuse, which makes it even more frustrating.”
“….!”
I widened my eyes in surprise.
“Are you going to help me?”
“You only hear what you want to hear.”
Then suddenly, he raised his hand and extended it towards me.
“….?”
His finger touched my lips.
“It’s dirty.”
“Oh, thank you…”
Before I could express my gratitude, his finger moved strangely. His hand, slowly rubbing my lips with the tip of his thumb and cupping my cheek, was warm. Then, he stepped a little closer to me.
“It’s very unpleasant that someone else touched you here.”
I stared blankly at Dimitri.
His emerald eyes, half-lowered as he looked down at me, were very beautiful.
“I’ll clean it for you.”
“What…?”
“Nothing.”
His soft lips touched mine briefly and withdrew. In the meantime, I let out a small breath. I didn’t know if he noticed, but my breath trembled slightly.
Before long, our lips met again.
It was a completely different feeling than when I kissed Cadis. I didn’t want to resist, and my body grew hot. So, I naturally closed my eyes and felt Dimitri’s movements.
A sweet kiss.
As my breath quickened, he lifted his head slightly and looked into my eyes.
“You like me.”
“….”
“Stop hesitating. You’re going to give in anyway. You’ll regret wasting this time when you look back.”
I didn’t say anything.
I was confused about what to say. As if he wasn’t waiting for my answer, his lips touched mine again just as the carriage came to a stop.
“We’ve arrived!”
The coachman shouted.
That was when the words finally came out of my mouth.
“I-I’ll get off now.”
̊ · : * ✧* : · ̊
Dimitri smirked as he watched Rowaine’s retreating figure hurriedly entering the mansion as if she were fleeing.
“I can’t let her dwell on kissing that b*stard all night.”
Certain that she would let him in, he kissed her to push away the memories of Cadis from her mind with his kiss.
“Yeah, she’s going to give in anyway, so why am I being so impatient?”
A cat’s hunting method wasn’t to chase its prey. The cat’s method was to hide around, waiting for an opportunity to arise, and then pounce in an instant. So, why did he keep chasing after Rowaine so impatiently, which was uncharacteristic of him?
‘It’s best not to mention that I was late to the party because I was looking for and talking to Nigel.’
Even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it for long, he thought it would be better to wait for the right time.
‘Rowaine might reject me even more if she finds out what Nigel did to Renée.’
—