Chapter 18
“Disappear from my sight.”
The words he had spoken on the day they first met were both heartfelt and insincere. She seemed to know what Altair had been about to say after that, just before the iron gate had slammed shut.
‘He must have been about to say that he didn’t really want me to disappear.’
How absurd.
Fey exhaled and approached Altair.
He had seemed so fearsome at first, but now he seemed ridiculous.
To be honest, he was a bit pathetic. However, she had no intention of running away, not because of the emperor’s will but because she didn’t want to leave Altair in such a state.
“Fey…”
Altair’s face contorted when he saw Fey approaching him instead of leaving. He took a deep breath, perhaps trying not to cry. His sunken eyes showed a profound sense of relief.
“Yes. I’m here.”
Altair’s legs gave way as Fey responded in a gentle voice. He collapsed onto an old wooden chair and clung to Fey’s sleeve as if it were a lifeline.
He hung his head and caught his breath for a long time before finally declaring a defeat with no victor.
“I’m sorry.”
“….”
“Please don’t leave. Don’t disappear. It was my fault…”
His fault? For what? Fey stared blankly at the crown prince’s disheveled hair as he begged her pitifully.
She wasn’t particularly angry with Altair. He hadn’t done anything wrong to her, so there was no reason for her to accept his apology. However, Altair continued to apologize and plead with her as if he were a lost child who had just found his way home.
Fey didn’t like this strange turn of events.
However, she didn’t want to correct him either.
She didn’t know how to comfort Altair, who was crying like a baby.
‘What would Luné do in a situation like this?’
Fey searched her memory and awkwardly stroked Altair’s head. Altair’s movements stopped for a moment, and then he suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace.
“Ugh!”
Fey was so surprised that she froze and couldn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry, Fey. You’ve always been my family…”
“Yes, I have.”
Fey’s hand, which she had awkwardly pulled away, hovered in the air.
What should she say now? Fey looked at the ceiling without speaking. But she quickly looked down, not having the time to indulge in her thoughts.
‘Why is there a portrait of some random person on the ceiling?’
She had gotten used to the stench, but she couldn’t get used to this creepy sight. She felt her head getting heavier and heavier. How many days had it been since she had a proper night’s sleep?
“Altair. How long has it been since you left this room?”
Fey asked the first thing that came to mind in an attempt to clear the haziness.
A moment later, an uncertain answer came back.
“Half a year? I don’t remember.”
“…When was the last time you saw His Majesty the Emperor?”
“I don’t remember that, either.”
“Have you been here since Luné died?”
There was no answer this time.
Fey wondered if this was the real reason the emperor had forcibly brought her back.
And hadn’t he tried to make her the crown princess solely for the sake of his own son? He was a cold man, but he was also deeply devoted to his family.
However, his son didn’t seem to care that his father was on the verge of death.
‘Or is he avoiding him on purpose?’
Perhaps Altair, who had cried like a baby when Fey disappeared, simply couldn’t face his father’s approaching death.
Fey frowned.
No matter how much he was grieving the death of his lover and playing the role of the tragic male lead, he still had many things he needed to do and could do.
‘What would Luné have said?’
Determined to say something to him, Fey once again searched for an answer. The answer she found was this:
Cry as much as you need to when you’re sad. And if you don’t feel like it, you can run away. I’ll be here for you no matter what.
“….”
For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Luné’s way of affirming others’ lives was right. But was it right to say it now?
Was it right to keep making him comfortable like this?
Her mind was gradually clearing, and tiny thoughts like grains of sand kept irritating her nerves.
“Fey.”
“Oh. Yes.”
Fey reflexively smiled and looked down at him.
Altair released his arms from around Fey’s waist.
Then he slowly took Fey’s hand and held it. His hands were as cold as the middle of winter.
“I’ll never forget Luné. Luné was like my soul.”
Why was he suddenly bringing her up? Fey was puzzled, but she didn’t want to know the truth behind the faint unease that crept into her heart.
He stared at her hand, his eyes unreadable, and then he raised his head and looked at Fey with a determined expression.
“However, if it’s okay with you, will you marry me?” It took her a moment to understand what he had said.
‘What the hell?’
Fey’s lips, which had been forming a smile, quickly stiffened.
A few seconds that felt like an eternity passed. After thinking it over and over again, Fey finally realized that he had just proposed to her. And it had been a very pathetic proposal.
“I’ll be honest with you. I don’t want you to disappear, and you want to be a crown princess… Then become one. I’ll give you the position.”
What kind of story is this, in a room filled with portraits of other women? The corners of Fey’s eyes twitched slightly.
He had refused until now, but now he wants her, too? Just because she ran away once? Because he doesn’t want to lose a woman who happens to resemble Luné?
Fey looked down with emotionless eyes. There was a beautiful face there, like a pale but unwithered rose.
A face with blood-red snake eyes like his vampire mother, thin eyelashes, a smooth and high nose, thin lips that were glossy and shiny, and even sharp canines that fascinated.
The perfectly beautiful face seemed to be saying.
‘Let’s compromise.’
“I don’t want to.”
Why should I marry you? I’m not the main character, and the ending has already been decided.
“Fey?”
Altair frowned for a moment as if he had misheard. Fey pulled her hand from Altair’s grasp and said once more.
“I don’t want to marry you.”
She was much more annoyed than when the emperor had proposed marriage for them a few minutes ago. There was a clear emotional difference from when the emperor had offered her the position of crown princess for political reasons.
In the end, Altair had given in to her because a woman who resembled Luné had run away from Tighalst just once.
He had given up, saying that he couldn’t forget Luné.
Fey wasn’t Luné, she was just a woman who resembled Luné.
And yet, he was hugging her waist, holding her hand, and asking her to marry him with a flattering face.
‘Isn’t there something more you should be doing right now?’
It wasn’t the body of the woman who killed Luné that was speaking, but it was really pathetic.
“…Someone even went as far as the bridge to try anything.”
“Fey? What did you say?”
His anxious voice trembled endlessly. Altair had become impatient with her unexpected reaction and grabbed the hem of her sleeve once more. But he was immediately pushed away. He looked at Fey with a bewildered face, unable to do anything with his hand hovering in the air.
“Fey. Why are you suddenly like this? You wanted to be the crown princess….”
“I said no.”
A voice devoid of any emotion cut Altair off. At this moment, she was completely free from the guilt of having abandoned ‘Fey’ or the fear of death.
She just didn’t like it. She felt a bitter taste in her mouth and a churning in her stomach.
The unpleasant wind blowing, the putrid smell of a rotting room, the creepy portrait stand, the disgusting face in the thin paper, the slimy vampire man who desperately craved affection. Everything was stupid.
‘I have to see the character I liked so much become so pathetic?’
She felt dizzier than ever. A heavy sigh escaped her lips.
She shouldn’t have become ‘Fey’ after all.
She didn’t even know how she possessed ‘Fey’s’ body in the first place.
She really thought this woman’s life was the worst in many ways.
Fey felt a moment of regret before pushing Altair’s shoulder hard. She grabbed his pale, cold wrist and shouted.
“Come with me for a moment.”
“Fey! Where are you going!?”
She ignored Altair’s bewildered protest as he was dragged along and kicked open the iron door to the basement. The musty smell of dust blew in with the wind. But compared to the putrid smell of the basement, even that was fragrant.
Fey gripped Altair’s wrist and climbed up the endless spiral staircase. Her legs felt heavy, as if she had lead weights tied to her calves. Nevertheless, she climbed the stairs without rest.
After a long time, the pitch-black darkness finally began to recede.
Altair frowned as a faint light poured down from above.
“Ha….”
He exhaled as he was led outside the tower and faced the landscape.
A spring wind was blowing, and the stars were out. It was a clear night.
“Fey? What are you doing? Please answer me.”
Despite his pleas, Fey didn’t say a word.
She continued to pull the wrist she was holding. Fey hadn’t brought Altair outside just to show him the view.
After walking a while longer, Fey came to a stop in front of Crocus Palace, the crown prince’s residence.
Fey stared at the round roof of Crocus Palace before releasing Altair’s wrist as if throwing it away. Altair’s body swayed, and his eyes shook with anxiety again.
As if she had been abandoned, Fey looked at the pale man fluttering in the wind with narrow eyes.
“If you were going to be so hurt, you should have accepted Fey from the beginning.”
“What?”
Altair asked with a bewildered expression.
Fey just shrugged her shoulders as if to say, ‘What are you talking about?’ Then, she glanced at the entrance of Crocus Palace and said indifferently.
“You’re going to stay here from today.”
“Why should I?”
“Stop living in that crappy tower and start acting like a proper crown prince!”
—