Chapter 85

A middle-aged noblewoman was staring at me intently, occupying a garden table with other ladies.

Strangely, she seemed familiar, though we had never met. I had seen the younger ladies and unmarried women before, guarding the banquet hall during my time as a knight, and they were naturally familiar due to my active movements, but this was not the case with the middle-aged woman.

Where had I seen her…?

What was even more problematic was that my heart began to beat uncomfortably fast. The moment our eyes met, I felt short of breath and a desire to hide somewhere, as if I had done something terribly wrong.

Why was I feeling this way here when I didn’t even feel this way with Kairos? I couldn’t understand it, and it was even unpleasant. I usually remember things quickly, but who was this woman…?

I definitely saw her somewhere, so she seemed familiar.

While I was pondering, the middle-aged noblewoman stood up and approached me. I thought she would come closer and greet me, but she just stared at me, her mouth covered by a fan. I wondered if it was because I was of commoner origin.

Since I didn’t particularly like receiving greetings from people I didn’t want to, I just stared back at her.

However, it must have been too much because her hand, which had been holding the fan, soon touched her dress. Then, she took a step back and greeted me politely. Only then did I return the greeting, bowing my body.

The noblewoman came closer to me. She glanced at the ladies who were watching us with curious eyes, sitting at the table, and then said to me.

“It’s been a long time.”

…A long time? A long time?

My heart beat even faster as I heard her voice. And then, something suddenly came back to me.

“Ah.”

This woman.

I should respond.

“Hello… how have you been?”

This woman was definitely someone who had a big part in Hazel’s childhood memories. To be precise, Count and Countess Gadiel.

“I heard you joined the Knights, but I was a little surprised by this news.”

“Ah… yes.”

“I should have paid more attention to you back then. I never thought you’d turn out like this.”

My expression hardened involuntarily at the nuance that seemed to say she was sorry as if she had known all along. My gaze fell on the hand of Countess Gadiel, who was still covering her skin with a lace glove.

My body was still rejecting her, and I was scared, but I smiled. It wasn’t me, but Hazel Love’s original body that was afraid.

“Don’t worry. I’m very happy now, Countess Gadiel.”

Then, the noblewoman’s eyes widened in surprise.

“…Oh, really? I’d like to have tea with you next time… if that’s okay, Duchess.”

Fortunately, she only asked a few more questions and returned to her seat with a nervous farewell, asking if I wanted to have a cup of tea. The questions were things like whether I still go to the temple and if I really don’t regret it.

Her tone, which had been like talking to an inferior, had changed somewhat.

I left the place with slightly faster steps. It was because the unpleasantness was spreading all over my body and my irritation was rising. I had never felt this way before, but I felt completely synchronized with Hazel Love.

The cause of my nightmares.

The protagonists of my nightmares always had no faces. Someone was always instilling beliefs in me, suppressing my power, and tormenting me, calling it a power I shouldn’t have. They said that I could only receive God’s blessing if I removed the cursed black magic from my body.

The Elkium Empire did not have a state religion, but it was necessary to follow and practice a faith. I also have strange dreams called by the power of darkness, but most of the nightmares I have are about being suppressed and manipulated by someone.

This wasn’t something that was in the original story.

It wouldn’t have been written about the past of a single, short-lived extra.

Anyway, Hazel lived in an orphanage from a very young age, but she was temporarily protected by a noble family for exactly five years. That was Count and Countess Gadiel. The childless couple seemed to have been preparing for adoption while attending the orphanage.

I never went hungry during my stay, always wore new clothes, and received unlimited support.

Hazel Love was not a shameless person, so she tried her best to follow the words of Count and Countess Gadiel. She wanted to prove that they had not made a mistake in choosing her, and she wanted to grow up as a model child, a child they would want.

But no matter how hard they tried, there was something they could never fulfill.

“…Ah, I’m so annoyed.”

In the end, I couldn’t help but stop walking, my body trembling.

My hands were clenched tightly, but the trembling wouldn’t stop. It was as if I was experiencing that time myself. I didn’t know this memory would come back to me. I was already horrified at the thought that my future nightmares would have clear faces.

Compatibility. Yes, that compatibility was the problem. Count and Countess Gadiel were very devout believers in the temple. Moreover, they were not priests or holy knights but those who wielded holy power weakly.

On the other hand, Hazel was born with black magic, so they weren’t compatible from the beginning.

Count and Countess Gadiel tried to change Hazel with their strong faith. They called in priests, searched for all sorts of methods, and tried to suppress Hazel’s power, hoping that the black magic would disappear from her body.

They thought they were saving Hazel Love, but it was abuse itself. How could it not be abused when they kept inflicting unwanted pain? The agony had stretched for five grueling years, and in the end, Count and Countess Gadiel had failed.

Unable to fulfill their desires, Hazel eventually left their household at the tender age of fifteen.

It was evident that a difficult life awaited her until she reached adulthood. Aware that their actions constituted abuse, Count and Countess Gadiel, under the condition of her silence, finally allowed Hazel to attend the academy.

Subsequently, Hazel toiled relentlessly until she became the top recruit of the Order of Knights. To achieve this, she had to overcome her fears, including the terror she harbored towards priests and temples.

Hazel diligently visited a temple once a week, regardless of the location, to confront and conquer her fear. Hence, when I visited the temple for a donation, I didn’t feel much discomfort.

“Whew.”

As the memories buried deep within my psyche resurfaced, I felt as though I was shouldering the weight of all my past hardships. I felt like collapsing right then and there.

“Oh, really, why is this happening?”

My hands were still trembling. This had never happened before, so why now, of all times? The timing couldn’t have been worse. Perhaps Hazel had originally feared Count and Countess Gadiel far more than I had realized.

Meeting Dylan would have to be postponed until tomorrow.

“I should have paid more attention to you back then. I never thought you’d turn out like this.”

Leaving you to grow up as a mage, even failing to prevent you from becoming the infamous Duchess of House Hadid. The pitying gaze, as if looking at someone who had fallen into the depths of hell, kept coming to mind. If it weren’t for the man who was approaching somewhat hastily, I might have collapsed.

“Hazel.”

The man who had called me and closed the distance was Kairos. My body, which had been trembling to a comical degree, slowly regained its composure.

“What… why are you here?”

The man’s crimson eyes swiftly scanned me from head to toe.

“Who was bothering you?”

Suddenly appearing out of thin air and approaching, only to ask that question made me chuckle involuntarily.

“Who’s bothering me? Really, why are you here, and how?”

“I just thought since your conversation was over, I came to pick you up.”

“What if you were late?”

“Then, I would have waited.”

“You came here simply for that reason?”

At that, Kairos squinted slightly.

“… I’ll try to tell you in advance next time.”

“….”

My eyes widened slightly at his words. It seemed he had interpreted my question not as a simple inquiry but as an interrogation of why he had come. The terror that had consumed my childhood felt as if it would kill me, but now, with a far more intimidating presence squirming before me, the events of moments ago seemed trivial.

Really, what was wrong with me? What was wrong with this man?

“Something seems to have happened…”

I found myself unconsciously rubbing my eyes. I met his gaze.

“No, I’m fine. Really, nothing happened. I’m just tired,” I said.

It was because I could still feel the gaze watching me from behind.

“Eating something you like in the carriage might make you feel better.”

“Something sweet?”

“Or would you like to go for a walk somewhere you might enjoy?”

“… Don’t tease me.”

Kairos made a rather disappointed face.

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