Chapter 33
“….”
In the heavy air, our gazes met. Reinhardt asked with an unreadable expression.
“If you say yes, we’ll get a divorce as agreed because a confession is an act that makes my heart flutter. If you say no, well, I’ll just be a little embarrassed.”
“By any chance… are you saying that even if I come to like you, you won’t even start because you’re afraid your feelings will fade quickly?”
“That’s part of it, though Reinhardt’s feelings for me won’t last long either. I don’t want to get hurt.”
“Why are you so sure that my feelings won’t last?”
…Because you have Lucia.
The moment she appeared before you, you would abandon me and choose Lucia, as fate dictated.
“….”
Still, I couldn’t answer like that. I couldn’t even bring myself to respond, so I just smiled bitterly, and Reinhardt bowed his head, biting his lower lip.
“I guess I failed to earn your trust.”
“Did you want to buy my trust?”
“….”
This time, Reinhardt couldn’t answer. In his eyes, emotions I couldn’t identify flickered like shooting stars.
“Well, I…”
After a long silence, he replied.
“I should leave since I’m making you uncomfortable.”
It meant that he didn’t like me.
I watched him leave the bedroom and sighed. I didn’t know if it was a sigh of relief or disappointment.
* * *
Shortly after Reinhardt left, I also left the bedroom and headed to the garden. I thought I’d take a walk and sort out my mixed feelings. As I was walking through the garden, I noticed a man and a woman walking side by side in the dim light.
‘…Who are they?’
I approached them cautiously to get a closer look, and lo and behold…
It was Catherine and Jade!
I came to the garden, which was accessible to the servants, to avoid running into Reinhardt, but unexpectedly, I stumbled upon this interesting sight.
‘What’s going on between them?’
Curious, I listened to their cheerful conversation.
“We’ve been walking for a while, but I still feel stuffed.”
“Me too. I guess our drinking capacity isn’t that great.”
They were drinking together and taking a walk until this late at night? They must be in a relationship!
“We drank a lot without realizing how delicious the food was…”
“Let’s go out to eat again sometime without drinking. Oh, I don’t mean anything by that… It’s just my favorite restaurant, and I don’t have anyone to go with.”
Oh? That was the kind of speech I’ve been hearing lately. If even Jade was saying it, I guessed it really was trendy…
‘Reinhardt must have been trying to flirt with me after all.’
“Oh, is that so? I was surprised for a moment because I thought you were asking me out on a date. You’re not, right?”
“Oh, um… No. I’m not…”
“Of course not! We’ve known each other for years. How embarrassing! Hahaha.”
It seemed that they weren’t in a relationship after all.
I guessed it was possible to drink and walk together late at night without being in a relationship. It seemed that I still didn’t know much about relationships.
I needed to break the habit of interpreting every little thing people do as having some special meaning, especially if I wanted to continue my married life. Because of this habit, I even mistook Reinhardt’s feelings for me today.
I had to remember that most of my instincts about relationships were wrong.
* * *
I finally fell asleep in the late morning, but I woke up as soon as the sun rose.
“…He’s still not back.”
I sighed as I checked the empty sofa. Did he really have to avoid me like this just because I asked him that? It wasn’t even a strange question, just a misunderstanding.
“Where’s Reinhardt?”
I called Catherine and asked about Reinhardt’s whereabouts, but she said she didn’t know where he went after breakfast. Since she was only his personal maid, it made sense that she wouldn’t know the details of his schedule.
“Should I ask the other servants?”
“No. Never mind. Let’s eat.”
He couldn’t keep hiding forever, so I would just have to wait. With that thought, I got up.
As I walked down the hallway towards the dining room—
“Huh?”
I saw Amil shuffling along. Why was this guy, who wouldn’t leave his room for fear of his second awakening, suddenly outside?
“Oh, it’s Irovel.”
He stopped walking when he saw me. I noticed he was holding a letter in his hand. He must have felt my gaze because he spoke.
“It’s a letter from Father. It was in front of my bedroom door.”
“I didn’t ask.”
“I thought you might be curious.”
“Not really.”
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about it. Would you like to read it?”
Even though I didn’t even answer, he handed me the letter. Once I had the letter in my hands, I was actually curious, so I silently opened it and read it.
[ I heard you’re holed up in the guest bedroom and doing nothing. I also heard you didn’t even reply to His Majesty’s letters?
Amil Leopold. You’re a disgrace as a man!
No matter how high your status was from birth, do you think you can compare to him? You can’t, so how dare you ignore him!
Return immediately and start preparing to meet him. If you don’t, I’ll take it as a sign that you want to give your younger sister the position of the young marquess. ]
Um… was this a letter that I was supposed to see? If I were him, there was way too much in here that I wouldn’t want anyone else to see.
“He’s just saying what he always says. Compared to my sister, I’m nothing but a good-for-nothing, but he had no choice but to put me in the position of a young marquess because ‘a son should inherit the family’.”
Marquess Leopold was a totally old-fashioned person.
“Ever since my aunt became the Grand Duchess of Erestein, he hasn’t been able to get over his inferiority complex.”
“Marquess Leopold married the Marchioness to become a marquess?”
“That’s right. After he lost to my aunt in the competition for the position of Grand Duke of Erestein, he married my mother as if he was running away.”
“I see…”
My eyes wavered in confusion. I thought Amil wasn’t the type to have a complex about his family history. Why was he suddenly telling me all this stuff about his family?
“Though, why are you suddenly telling me all this personal stuff?”
“I just wanted to tell someone about my family history for once.”
Why now, though? As I thought about it, an ominous theory came to mind.
“You’re not thinking of doing something strange, are you?”
“Like killing myself? No.”
“Then, why are you acting like this all of a sudden?”
“I don’t know. I just can’t help but say what I want to say.”
He couldn’t help it? Don’t tell me…
‘…He’s finally had his second awakening.’
That was why he couldn’t control his urges, and he was acting so crazy!
“Why did you suddenly come out of your room when you wouldn’t even take a single step outside before?”
“First, I wanted to burn this letter, and second… I wanted to see Irovel.”
Amil said that with a faint smile.
Since he can’t control his urges, I got a little creeped out because I didn’t know what he might do. Nevertheless, I tried to act calm and asked.
“Because you want to know about the second awakening?”
“Yes. And there’s something I’ve been wanting to say.”
“What is it?”
Was he going to curse me out or something? In his current state, it was entirely possible.
“I’m sorry.”
“…What?”
What was this guy doing? Was he not having a second awakening? Was he just thinking bad thoughts?
“I only wanted to marry you because you’d have to divorce Reinhardt if that’s the case, so please don’t hate me too much.”
Did I hear that right? Why did he even say this now?
So, did he ever like me?
“Do you like me?”
“No.”
…How many times have I heard that I wasn’t liked in the past couple days?
Two rejections in two days. This just goes to show how serious my disease was! Ugh. My instincts were definitely bad!
“I don’t particularly have anyone I like, I just need to find a partner to marry, so I thought it would be nice if they knew my secret and were fun to be around.”
“You’re honest.”
“I feel like I can tell you anything right now.”
Oh, I knew that feeling. When I had my second awakening, I chased after my family and forced them to watch my ending pose. I knew each second awakening would be strange, yet we really couldn’t help it.
“So, will you marry me?”
“Oh my! How very romantic. Of course, my answer is… no!”
“If you marry me and divorce Reinhardt, His Majesty will grant me a large sum of money and a mansion. Even if I give all of those to Irovel, will you still refuse?”
I answered without hesitation, cutting him off.
“Yes.”
I couldn’t help but act on impulse, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t tell when someone was lying. In other words, I couldn’t fully trust Amil’s promises. Besides, even if I married Amil, the Emperor might send a second Amil to divorce me again. I couldn’t keep getting married and divorced over and over again.
“Oh, come on, why are you refusing? Surely you don’t have feelings for that Reinhardt?”
“We’re only in a relationship because of a contract.”
“It doesn’t seem that way for Reinhardt.”
“It can’t be.”
I shook my head weakly.
“Young lord, you’re mistaken. Reinhardt told me himself that he doesn’t like me. Just like what you said a moment ago.”
“…He said that?”
Amil seemed surprised, then suddenly burst out laughing.
“Well, I guess I’ll have to keep an eye on him from now on.”
“What do you mean, keep an eye on him? Why are you suddenly talking about that?”
“If you’re curious, just observe him closely. He’s good at hiding his pain, so it won’t be easy to notice.”
—