Chapter 102
“Such words…”
Kylian was bewildered. The Lillith Isadora before him was acting completely unlike herself.
He was aware of her feelings for him. It was probably why she had hallucinated under the influence of painkillers from the Temple of Morphis and acted as if she were his wife.
But this time, instinctively, it felt different.
“It can’t be.”
“Kylian, I didn’t foresee the future. I was able to react because I knew about this world from the one I lived in, not because I could see what was coming.”
“What do you mean…”
“I wished for Kylian to be happy. If I had known I would ruin you like this… I wouldn’t have done it.”
Tears were streaming down Anais’s face non-stop. Contrary to her previous confidence that she could convince him, she was now utterly broken.
She had endured so far out of a sense of responsibility towards Kylian. Even her shameless feelings were kept hidden in a corner of her heart.
She thought him not recognizing her truly meant he had never loved her genuinely. That’s why she felt guilty for reviving those thoughts in him and for making him feel insulted.
So she tried all her efforts to help him come to his senses.
“Kylian, you never loved me.”
“…”
“If you had loved me, you wouldn’t have failed to recognize me.”
Kylian knew he should deny her words, but he couldn’t find his voice. He suddenly wanted to look into her eyes, but the tears made it impossible. He couldn’t tell if the light was coming from within her or merely reflecting the room’s light.
“I’m sorry. If I’m the reason you’ve changed like this, I truly am sorry.”
Anais no longer wanted to see Kylian’s face. So she slumped down defeatedly. She felt more exhausted as time passed.
She thought it would be better if her life just ended like this.
“I’m sorry, Kylian.”
Kylian couldn’t accept her trembling words. But words refused to come out as if a thorn was stuck in his throat.
He was confused. He knew Lillith Isadora wouldn’t normally speak this way. It made it seem almost like a delusion that his wife was pleading with him.
Then, a voice from outside interrupted.
“Your Majesty. It seems the High Priest of Death has awakened.”
Kylian turned his back on Lillith, focusing instead on his wife’s condition, which seemed more urgent at the moment.
* * *
After that, even as the Empress collapsed, Kylian never called for Anais.
Anais spent her days in the room once occupied by Phileal, hoping only for time to pass. She stayed in, barely leaving her bed, like someone who had lost all will.
She was aware of people checking on her occasionally, perhaps out of concern. She felt someone touching her cheek in her sleep, checking her breathing, or sharing their energy with her.
Anais was certain it wasn’t Kylian. The hair of the person sharing their energy was much lighter.
Rumble-!
It seemed like it was going to rain. For once, Anais felt the urge to step on the floor. It had been over a week since she last left her bed. Looking at the sky that looked like it was going to rain made her want to get rained on.
It was an absurd thought, but if she could be washed away by the downpour, maybe she would return to the afterlife just like that.
She opened the window dressed in a negligee. She didn’t want to go out through the door. Lest she would encounter anyone unnecessary.
Anais didn’t want to meet anyone. In the past, every moment was precious because she didn’t want to leave Kylian.
Now, it wasn’t the same. Time dragged on so slowly it was painful. Each day felt as long as a year.
Yet, she despised herself the most. Unable to fully hate Kylian for not recognizing her to the very end.
Anais hated how her mind tried to rationalize and understand him on its own. Just thinking of Kylian made her heart still beat as if it was alive.
“People change.”
Kylian was right. People change. Anais had changed, and so had Kylian. Yet, while changing for the better required countless efforts, turning for the worse seemed so effortlessly easy.
Anais was beginning to understand why Goddess Julias hated her and why she had tried to eliminate her.
“What are you doing here?”
Turning around, Anais saw a familiar face.
“Everyone, leave.”
“But, Your Majesty, the rain is about to…”
“Leave, I said.”
“…Yes.”
The Empress’s lady-in-waiting, servants, and knights had all been replaced. They were all sacrificed as offerings after the recent abduction incident. On the surface it seemed that they were punished for failing to properly serve the Empress, but in reality, their life force was extracted and given to the Empress.
The blame was placed entirely on a few nobles who had conspired with them. The Empress needed the priests of death to survive, so Kylian did not punish them.
“What are you doing, Lady Anais?”
Once everyone had left and only the two of them remained, Lillith spoke up. She thought it was good that the servants were scared to approach. Unlike before, they didn’t bother coming close, only strictly following orders.
“Lillith.”
Anais turned to Lillith.
At that moment, Lillith closed her mouth in surprise. She was shocked by Anais’s empty gaze.
“I want to be alone.”
“You’re not in a position to order me.”
“Huh.”
Lillith stepped closer, looked at Anais with disdain as if bored by her meek response.
“Lillith.”
“Yes?”
“If I behave as I am now, will you make it so Kylian comes back?”
“I’m already doing that. With me here, Kylian acts normally.”
“…”
“After what happened last time, and now that High Priest Raviel has awakened.”
Anais decided to believe Lillith’s words that no more living sacrifices were needed. Truthfully, many had been offered in her stead while she lay unconscious.
She was now too exhausted, Anais couldn’t muster the strength to think about it further.
“Guide Kylian on the right path.”
“I am.”
“Make sure… Kylian is happy.”
“That’s difficult.”
“Why?”
“Because I hate those who have made me miserable.”
Lillith’s playful response made Anais look at her.
Drip. Drip-drip. Shhaaa!
Rain began to fall.
“Even if you hate me, forgive me. Because I need you.”
“…”
“It’s because of you that all this happened.”
Anais believed that. If her being in the wrong place had led to Kylian’s downfall, then Lillith taking her rightful place should set everything right.
Now that Lillith resides within her body, Kylian will surely come to love her genuinely.
“Lady Anais.”
“Yes?”
“Do you think only Kylian needs Lady Anais?”
Lillith’s scornful laughter was a sharp contrast to her words, making Anais not want to think further. Lillith’s words almost confirmed her fear of being unnecessary to the world.
“I’m glad it’s raining.”
“….Yes.”
Anais was indifferent to being caught crying over her misery.
“Lillith.”
“Yes.”
Anais was trying to breathe evenly. The cold raindrops hit her head and cheeks. Her now thoroughly soaked hair clung to her shoulders. The downpour was relentless, and the surrounding area was filled only with the sound of rain.
As Anais blankly stared at Lillith, Lilith also returned the gaze.
“Please take good care of Kylian.”
Turning away, Anais walked off in another direction. Lillith watched her for a moment before heading back to the Empress’s palace.
The sensation of trampling on the grass faded. Anais’s toes grew cold, and her body gradually lost warmth.
The smell of wet grass was somehow refreshing. Anais knew all too well that she had no reason to continue living in this place.
“Even if you don’t change, I’ll still love you.”
“Really, I envy you.”
Despite deciding not to, Anais couldn’t help but feel envious of Lillith. She had been envious of her even before her death. That envy had turned into jealousy, making Anais do everything in her power to ensure Lillith wasn’t hurt.
It was insulting to those who considered the life she had fought so hard for as their most precious treasure.
Kylian had changed, Lewarren had betrayed her, and Lillith had been deceiving her from the start.
“What was it all for….”
Why had she made all that effort up to now?
Anais was genuinely glad that it was raining. She could pretend her breathlessness was due to the cold, not her tears.
She walked again, feeling the sensation of grass under her feet fading away.
After walking like that, she reached a palace behind the villa, where Kylian had briefly stayed during his days as a prince.
She walked towards a wisteria marked with an X. As it rained, the wisteria petals fell in droves every time the wind blew. She touched the petals with her hand, smiling bitterly as memories of Kylian came to mind.
“Wife, please take them off for me.”
“Haha.”
The thought of Kylian came to her mind but somehow it made her laugh. Everything seemed so pointless now.
She was utterly drained. Anais sat down.
“Now….I’m tired of it all.”
“Anais.”
Knowing who was calling her, she didn’t lift her head.
“You’ll catch a cold if you get wet. You know you’re weak.”
She looked up at the red cloth being draped over her head and saw gentle hands and a face that seemed to be crying harder than her.
Even in the darkness, the bright red eyes were clear.
“Phileal.”
“Huh.”
“I want to leave the palace.”
Anais spoke out impatiently.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Somewhere very far away.”
At her words, he stopped crying and smiled broadly.
“Alright.”
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