Chapter 109
Anais felt sorry for Phileal, who sought comfort in behaving like a child after having endured far too much at a young age.
“Alright.”
It wasn’t difficult to pat his head, so when he leaned in, presenting his head to her, she ran her fingers through his hair.
His silver hair was as soft as cat fur. Initially, she stroked his hair in one direction, but then, out of mischief, she ruffled it the opposite way, making a mess of his hair.
Seeing his tousled hair, Anais burst out laughing.
“Hehe, do I look pretty?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
Phileal was pleased by her playful action. When Anais slowly pulled her hand away, he didn’t even think about fixing his hair and simply laughed.
“Let’s go.”
“Not like this. Hold on.”
“Okay.”
Anais reached out again, realizing he was serious about going out like that. He bent down, waiting for her touch. She smoothed his hair back to its original, neat style and brushed it away from his forehead.
“You look better with your forehead showing. You have a nice nose.”
“Okay.”
Phileal’s cheeks turned a shade of pink. Lately, he often found his face getting hot whenever he was with her.
“Now, let’s go to the village.”
“Alright.”
With a smile, Phileal led her to the village.
When they arrived, Phileal’s expression darkened. The village didn’t bring back fond memories for him, even after nearly ten years. It seemed stuck in time, unchanged from his childhood.
“There isn’t a single two-story building.”
“Haha, is that really the first thing you noticed?”
“Yes, and there’s no fountain either. The pavement stones are ancient, at least twenty years old.”
Anais was taken aback by the wear and tear of the stones. The stones embedded in the ground were so worn that they were almost completely flat, with no protruding edges.
Along with the worn stones, there were also many more outdated signs than what Anais had seen before her death. Even though this place was remote, it seemed shockingly underdeveloped.
“Phileal.”
“Yes?”
Anais was walking with his support, and when she stopped, gently pulling his arm, he naturally turned to look at her.
“What happened to your house? Is it gone?”
“Yes. I burned it down.”
“Should we go there first?”
“Aren’t you tired?”
Phileal asked worriedly. His concerned expression made Anais chuckle. She had rested plenty on the ship. Besides, she thought, who was in a position to worry about whom?
“Now’s the time to be worried about you.”
“Why? I’m feeling great right now. I’ve never been this happy before.”
Phileal smiled brightly and spoke sincerely. Anais sighed softly and spoke.
“Thank you.”
“I should be the one thanking you. Honestly, I couldn’t have come here alone.”
He decided to be completely honest with her. Though he was already straightforward, he wanted to be even more open. He started addressing thoughts he had previously avoided.
“Let’s head to where your house used to be first.”
“Alright.”
“Let’s talk on the way.”
He nodded at her suggestion, hoping she would take his arm again. Soon, she took Phileal’s arms, and they walked slowly together.
After walking for quite a while, they reached the outskirts of the village where a charred, barren wooden house stood. It was clear that no one had repaired it; the traces of fire were still evident, and wild grass had grown all around it.
Anais scanned it with her eyes before speaking.
“Why did you think you couldn’t come alone?”
“I thought I might break down if I did.”
Phileal inhaled the unpleasant sea air carried by the wind and wrinkled his nose, but then he smiled when he caught the scent of Anais.
“I don’t regret what I did. But I do still think sometimes that I should have sacrificed my father sooner.”
“…Why did you burn the house?”
“I decided to burn it while taking care of my mother’s remains. That house was probably a shackle for her because of me.”
“……”
“I couldn’t let her be bound even after death. I wanted to break that chain.”
Anais looked at his face because she noticed that he was smiling as he said this, but she could tell it was a false smile. She had learned to distinguish between his genuine and fake smiles perfectly.
“She probably didn’t think of it as a shackle.”
“Then what would she have thought? A burden? Something like a leech she couldn’t shake off?”
“No. She probably thought of you as her hope.”
Anais wanted to comfort him just as he had comforted her.
“You were the reason she held on.”
For the first time in his life, Phileal felt truly comforted. Only a handful of people had ever talked to him about his family, and none had ever spoken to him like this.
“I want to cry, but the tears won’t come.”
“Come here.”
Phileal’s chest felt strange, heavy yet not unpleasant. He leaned into Anais’s arms.
Burying his head in her shoulder, he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. The nervousness he usually felt was replaced by a deep sense of calm.
“It wasn’t your fault that your mother ended up like that.”
She gently patted his back. She knew what he was thinking all these times.
“It’s okay, Phileal. If you’re sad, your mother would be even sadder.”
His eyes stung. Still, no tears came. The feeling of being comforted was new to him, and he wanted to stay like this forever.
“I’m so glad I came with you.”
“Me too.”
He loved how she patted his back and held him. He had never felt this at peace before.
“Do I seem human now?”
“You’ve always been human. Just sometimes a bit crazy.”
“Hahaha.”
He loved her straightforward and blunt way of speaking. For the first time, Phileal felt that his previously denied existence was now being acknowledged.
Then the world seemed to look a little different.
“You’re really strange, Anais.”
“Not as much as you.”
At her words, he chuckled.
* * *
When they returned to the outskirts of the village, they needed to stop by the flower shop.
“So, we buy the flowers and then go up that hill?”
“Yeah.”
“But why did you bury her up there? It’s in the opposite direction from your house.”
“So she could truly be free.”
Phileal had worried that his mother’s spirit might linger near their home. Back then, he was young and vaguely aware that even in death, his mother might not leave his side.
However, after becoming a priest of the god of death, he was completely reassured. God Decarve had told him everything about his mother’s journey to the afterlife and whether she had been reincarnated.
“Smart thinking.”
“Right?”
Phileal laughed as he naturally took her hand. Anais, who was used to linking arms, was startled and tried to pull her hand away. But then she realized his touch wasn’t romantic, so she held on.
“What kind of flowers do we need? This wasn’t part of the Cypnos Empire before, so the mourning flowers were probably different.”
In the Cypnos Empire, people offered white roses for mourning.
“Here, we offer red spider lilies.”
“Fits you well.”
“Do I look like a flower?”
“No, like a red spider lily.”
“What’s the difference?”
“How can you not know the difference?”
Anais laughed as they bantered. Phileal didn’t understand, but seeing her laugh made him laugh too.
“You seem like a mermaid. Not because your hair looks blue, but you just have that feel.”
“Right now, it’s black.”
“Oh, right.”
He debated whether to tell her that to him, her hair still looked platinum. In the end, he decided against it, thinking it might only upset her more.
Mermaids were symbols of destruction but also symbols of hope before their downfall. They were the only creatures connecting the sea and the land, with both intelligence and civilization. However, mentioning that he learned this from the temple of the sea, which he had destroyed, would probably make Anais uncomfortable, so he decided against it.
“Any hair color suits you.”
“Right, thank you.”
She thought he knew that mermaids symbolized misfortune because they were extinct. But she chose not to say anything. By now, she understood that he didn’t mean it in a negative way.
“Why do we offer red spider lilies?”
“Ensest island originally had two gods from the beginning.”
“I think I heard something about it in theology, but I can’t recall exactly.”
Phileal began speaking excitedly at her words.
“Do you know that the god of order and the god of chaos were once married?”
“Yes, the god of order sealed the god of chaos.”
“Right. The god of order cried in sorrow after sealing the god of chaos. The tears of the god of order caused red spider lilies to bloom. That’s why we offer them here for mourning.”
Anais suddenly recalled that the god of chaos became the god of death after being sealed. The god of order later divided into several gods based on their emotions. The strongest emotions, life and strength, became the goddesses Julias and Roseraine, respectively.
In contrast to the other gods who split off, these two major goddesses governed order.
“That shop is still there.”
Phileal smiled slightly, seeing the old flower shop with the same sign as before.
“They might recognize you.”
He felt a bit scared but gathered the courage to go inside.
* * *
“Where is the Empress?”
Kylian intended to confront the Empress. He was interrogating her attendants because the Empress, who usually slept in her room, was nowhere to be found.
“The Empress should be sleeping…”
“Then where is she?”
Kylian’s impatience turned into anger. The Empress had gone missing at the worst possible time.
“Find her immediately.”
“Your Majesty, if you could just wait a moment…”
“I said find her!”
His shout made the servants kneeling on the floor tremble in fear. It hadn’t been long since many of the Empress’s attendants had been sacrificed.
“Find her at once. Bring her before me.”
Kylian’s eyes were filled with madness. He was determined to confirm the unbelievable truth.
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